First let me say, that I apologize for not writing anything since early July. My life has been taken over by a 10 year old boy, two sweet, sticky toddlers, laundry, housework, vacations, district trainings, online courses, and, well, a fetus. We’ll be expecting a fourth child (I don’t like odd numbers!) in February. I’m due on February 7th, my maternal grandmother’s birthday!
Now that we’ve addressed the formalities, let me educate you on what is okay and not okay to ask a pregnant person. There are varying degrees of acceptable-ness, depending on how well you know the mother-to-be. This training is aimed toward those mothers-to-be with whom you are only moderately close or don’t know well at all. If your very close friend is having a baby, you be the judge on what she’ll be comfortable with.
It is certainly okay to ask the following questions: When are you due? How are you feeling? Did you tell the other kids yet and how did they react? Where will you deliver? etc. These questions are not of a personal nature. They do not impede on a person’s right to privacy.
There are myriad other questions that pregnant women may be uncomfortable discussing with near-strangers; questions that revolve around nursing, natural child-birth, co-sleeping, etc. But, there is one question that you must never, ever ask.
That one question that you must never, never ask a pregnant woman who you are only moderately close to is: Was this planned? Let me tell you why. When you ask that question, you are implying that it is not the right time for that woman to be having a(nother) child. You are also infringing on that woman’s right to privacy with regards to her own family planning. You also may imply that the woman has no idea how children are made and that she haphazardly… procreates… when she is not intending on having children. And, even if that were true, its none of your business.
So, you may ask your close friends that question if you think they can handle it… and most likely, your best girlfriends will tell you eventually anyway. But, you must never, never ask a woman if she planned to get pregnant if she is on any social circle outside of what you consider to be your closest friends. And, men, you may as well not ever ask that question.
Now I have you curious, I’m sure… Did Sarah plan to have another child with Baby J being so young? Let me just tell you this: Curiosity killed the cat.